Hope Solo, Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson: Same Thing, Only Different

By now I am sure you have heard (and seen) quite a bit about both the Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson situations. Roger Goodell, The NFL, and the Baltimore Ravens have all performed like craven and inept buffoons in the Rice matter. The Minnesota Vikings' vacillations on Peterson would be comical if the topic were not so serious. But this is not a post about them. Nor is it about the ways a large part of our culture is premised on misogyny (another day, perhaps). Nor is it a discussion of the nature and scope of parental discipline (although, as a caveat, I will note that the protestations of those such as Sean Hannity, Charles Barkley, and others that "my mother/father beat me and I turned out fine" suffers not only from defects of logic, but from faulty premises).

No, this is about those situations in the NFL and the comparisons some are making to the situation of Hope Solo, the goalkeeper for the Seattle Reign of the NWSL and, more importantly, for the U.S. Women's National Team, which is in the midst of preparations for the Women's World Cup next year. To say that Solo, who many (myself included) consider the greatest women's keeper of all time, is important to the U.S. team's chances is an understatement

But, there is a complication. Solo is a mercurial and volatile talent who, frankly, does not care one whit what others think of her, including her team. It is my opinion that this trait is part of what makes her great. She plays with an arrogance and swagger that intimidates opponents and seems to make her immune to big game pressure. But it often leads her to trouble off the field. There were allegations of domestic violence by her against her then-fiancee, now-husband, ex-NFL player Jerramy Stephens (who has his own demons). Nothing came of that incident and Solo did not pursue it. But earlier this year, Solo was charged with assaulting her half-sister and 17 year-old nephew at a birthday party at her house. There was alcohol involved (shocking, I know) and by all accounts it was quite a scene. Solo has plead not guilty and is awaiting trial. U.S. Soccer has allowed her to keep training and playing with the team while the legal situation plays out.

You are now hearing calls for Solo to be taken off the team and/or not be permitted to play, a la Rice and Peterson. There are cries of a "double standard". I even saw one particularly unhinged commenter state that the fact that Solo was being permitted to play and Rice and Peterson were not was evidence of a "leftist, feminist attack on the NFL".(Because nothing says free-market masculinity like beating women and children, am I right? But I digress.) But are the situations comparable? I would argue not. Not unless your position is that any athlete charged with any crime must sit until their legal situation is resolved. Yes, the alleged victims are family members of Solo's, so technically this falls under the heading of "domestic violence". I even heard one commentator, who I generally like, refer to it as "child abuse", since the nephew is 17. But this is not domestic violence, and it is not child abuse. The sister and nephew do not live with Solo. They are not financially dependent on her, and there are obviously not issues of emotional/romantic/sexual dependency.

Domestic violence and child abuse are real, they are far more prevalent than the public realizes, they are often covered-up, minimized, and rationalized, and they are a significant precursor to a startling percentage of the homicides and sexual assaults in the U.S. But it is the unique and intimate nature of those relationships that makes them so fraught with peril. Solo's situation is not the same. To call her situation "domestic violence" and "child abuse" is to cheapen those terms. Again, if your position is that any athlete facing any criminal charge should not be permitted to play, well, that's another discussion for another day. But don't try to sell the false equivalency of Hope Solo, Ray Rice, and Adrian Peterson